its not stalking. its research.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
