have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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