Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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