You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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