I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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