I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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