She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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