you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
smell my finger.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
