September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
porn star boner night. come get it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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