I could make wine with my vomit
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
