your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
