The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
