Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
