The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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