she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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