Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
