Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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