Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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