Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
