am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
