i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am one with the molecules
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
