Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sorry about my life...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
