He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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