oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize