real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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