She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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