Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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