everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
