Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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