It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
