so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize