i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
