if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
