My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
