I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
