Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
