This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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