I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I want to be your penis for a week.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
