It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
is it fun? or sober?
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