i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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