is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
