The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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