Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
