Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i've created a new STD.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
