Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
