I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
they need to just BURY HIM!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
