she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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