his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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