He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
