Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
