I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
