my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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