I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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