At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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