How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
