My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
