Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
