You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
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Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
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On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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