Acid is not a monday night drug
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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