Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
