Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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