Christians are straight up FREAKS
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
