That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
